Or, another post in which I whine about my life. I feel like I've been griping a lot lately. Maybe I have. Maybe I have something to gripe about... But I hate feeling like a whiner, so hopefully this will be the last of it. I just need to get it all out of my system, I think.
Although everything with the house and our lives are basically the same as they were 10 years ago, I feel much worse about it all. With the loss of our pregnancy, I feel like the rose-colored glasses have come off. I hate the house, and it's never-ending list of projects. I feel like we haven't accomplished anything in 3 years, even though I know logically that's not true. I completely understand now how the PO's could just say "fuck it" and put up paneling. 3 years ago, when we moved in, the house at least looked habitable. Now it's something of a train wreck. Every room I walk into, all I can see is how many unfinished projects there are or how I wish the room looked.
And we do have the living room. The one room of sanity. But instead of being my inspiration, I now feel like it's taunting me. It's telling me that this is what the rest of the house could look like if I'd get off my lazy ass and work on it.
I know I'm not really seeing things how they are. I wish I could come into the house and see it with an unjaundiced eye. All my friends tell me that they love our house, so it really can't be that bad. It just feels like it...