7/24/2011

The story of the twins: Part 3


I am posting these updates retroactively.  It's actually August 1, but I feel like this is an important part of my life to share.  These posts were originally on a message board, but since my blog is something like my journal, I wanted to have the story here as well.  Also, I'm sure I'll mention these events in the future, so I want the background available.  And, just maybe, my story will help someone else who is going though the same thing.

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We're 5 days post-delivery of Baby A, and Baby B still seems fine.  I'm spotting less and less, and I feel better physically than I have in AGES.  I was exhausted and in pain for a long time before this happened.  But now I'm cautiously optimistic that everything will be okay. I was worried from week 7 that something was wrong with this pregnancy, and after finding that it was twins, I was worried about losing one.  I never expected to miscarry, but I was worried about vanishing twin, or having major complications from them being born too early.  I'm still worried that Baby B might not stick, but I don't feel like I'm going to lose her, you know what I mean?  I must pray at least a hundred times a day for her to stay in there and stay healthy, and I hope that God is going to bless us with a miracle baby.  

We've decided to bury Baby A in the backyard and plant a tree over him.  We are thinking a weeping cherry, since 1) they have beautiful flowers, and 2) we were up north in cherry country when I gave birth to him.  We don't plan on living here forever, but I'm okay with leaving him if we move.  My aunt thinks we should buy a cemetery plot or something... But I don't want to be buried in a cemetery, and I don't want my baby in one either.  If I could legally bury him up on a sand dune by Lake Michigan or in a cherry orchard, I'd do that.  Barring that, I believe his place is at home.  I guess I'm not that attached to the physical remains of people.  My grieving process isn't dependent on or helped by being able to "visit" them.  I would like to maybe have his footprints engraved or photo-engraved on a pendent or something.

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