Phoenix rising

It's been almost one year to the the day since I last posted, and honestly, my head is still reeling a bit from all the changes in my life since then.  It's finally starting to settle into a "new normal", so I feel comfortable sharing a bit here again.

Authenticity.  It's a concept I've been thinking a lot about recently.  I've always striven to live an authentic life, one true to my belief system and morals.  I've always been a bit of a non-conformist, at least according to society's definition of normal, but I thought that my life was authentic and true to what I felt was important.  And while that may have been true for me, that wasn't true for my husband.  He was living a double life, hiding an addiction that, once revealed, shattered our marriage.  Sexual addiction isn't the party it sounds like.

While many things in my life feel like a struggle right now, especially work, in most ways I feel like a phoenix rising from the ashes.  I've lost so much in the past year: my marriage, my career (by my own choice; I had decided to stay home with the kidlets), the life I thought I had, and the dreams I thought we shared.  But I've also gained.  I'm now free from a relationship that had damaged my self-worth and skewed my perceptions. I'm free from trying to live up to someone else's expectations.  I'm free to be the me I was always a bit afraid to be.

God often provides blessings that come disguised as tragedies.  This is one of them.


Kate H. said...

Oh, no! So sorry to hear of this turn of events. Hardly know what to say . . . just, give yourself permission to be royally pissed off about the whole thing whenever you feel like it. And I wish you faithful and good friends you can be safely pissed off with.

Strength and blessing to you.

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Anonymous said...

Hi Prairie Box!!

Your home looks like the old Saltbox style so common in New England (specifically, MA and in Ohio). The only difference is you have a porch which most saltboxes do not.

Okay, good luck with your home and projects.