Ethan is now almost 3 weeks old, and I've been on maternity leave for a few days more than that. Since then (aside from pushing the not-so-little guy out!), I've accomplished pretty much nothing. I have cooked one meal, vacuumed a few times, mopped the floor, and kept the kitchen mostly clean. I've washed diapers galore. I'm really scared to see our utility bill this month...! On nice days I put Ethan in the stroller or sling and go for a walk (except today because I'm lazy). But even when he's sleeping (which he does most of the time), I'm too chicken to be more than 10 feet away from him because I'm worried he might wake up and cry.
Oh, the joys of being a new parent! :)
I know I'm normal. I know babies cry. I know than the extra 4 seconds it would take me to run down, or up, the stairs wouldn't permanently damage him. But even when he's just sleeping, I feel like I should be doing ...something... with him. Or that I have to stay very close by in case he wakes up. I do wear him in the sling or Beco carrier, but even then I end up playing on the computer instead of cleaning up the house. When he's awake, I talk to him, and "play" with him, but that's only for maybe 20 minutes at a time.
I've gotten out a few times, to the grocery store, Barnes and Noble, and to Applebees with Shayne or my mom. But aside from outside destinations like going hiking or something, there are not a lot of places I want to go. I'm not much of a window shopper, so I'm kind of at a loss for what to DO all day. I don't even know what I want to do.
I'm not feeling any pressure to get things done, but I need a little bit more to fill up my days besides staring at the baby. I like being a mommy, but I need a little structure or something. There are plenty of things around the house I could do, I suppose. Organize the "new" hall closet, make and can more applesauce, organize the back porch/laundry room/mud room, finish writing thank-you cards from the baby shower...
My goal this week is to accomplish one small something each day, even if it's just getting out of the house. I'm making a list, and every day I stay at home, I'll try to get something crossed off it. If I can pry myself away from the sleeping baby...
4 comments:
You are accomplishing something very important. You will never have this time again. Relax.
Bond with your baby. Do a small thing each day within reach of him, too. You won't ever have this time again with him.
Just stare at your baby. Soon, he'll want to crawl, walk, and explore. Just let him sleep in your arms while you hold him. Enjoy it, it goes fast.
It's so hard to be a Mommy and not feel guilt for leaving him for a little bit for your own sanity...I don't think it goes away. Maggie is 15months and I still get it...don't get me wrong, I enjoy my ME time, but she's always right there in my head. I need a break, then when I get one, I miss her soooooo much. We just can't win, they are too cute and funny for us not to want to spend every stinkin second with them!!!
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